Growing up, I had a number of teachers lament that “Teaching is like being pecked to death by ducks,” including one who proudly displayed a large banner with the saying over the chalkboard. The full force of the proverb has eluded me for all these years. Teaching younger children myself has, however, revealed it. Ducks have dull bills. The cause of death would likely be sheer annoyance. I get it now.
The teaching situation here is rather dismal. Due mainly to some mistakes on our part, we took a job with horrible conditions without realizing it. Without going into specifics, suffice it to say that teaching well is impossible here. We’re less teachers and more English-speaking mascots. On a positive note, it has made me realize that teachers, as a group, must be the most Christ-like people on the face of the earth. Even after years of seminary, I’m watching myself be profoundly and painfully shaped in the course of a few weeks. There’s nothing like hordes of kids slapping you, yelling in your ear, or just plain ignoring you to reveal your own sin nature.
Like the Christian life, teaching requires acknowledging that you are not in control. A teacher cannot control class size, parental involvement, other teachers, and a number of other factors that can make teaching either sheer joy or nearly impossible. You cannot even control how others will take you saying “I have no control” – more often than not, it seems like the spoken or unspoken assumption is that you’re doing something wrong. With the illusion of control gone, I’m finding the good teachers can refocus on being faithful with what little they can control. As of now, I’m more in the going-crazy-trying-to-control category.
Teaching also requires the constant practice of forgiveness, a skill which I thought I was getting pretty good at. Kids can be horrible little monsters. The good teachers forgive students without their asking and give them a fresh start the next time they see them. It’s both easy to do (what else can you do? Hold a grudge or demand an apology for something the class will have no memory of?) and humbling (though sometimes in a bad, allowing-oneself-to-get-walked-over sense; sadly, I’ve seen plenty of that here and growing up). You know that parable about the man who is forgiven an unimaginably large debt, but who then can’t forgive a tiny one owed to him? I hate that parable right now.
So, if you’ve read the previous blogs you know that so far, things aren’t going as hoped in a lot of different ways. Though it feels like looking at the bright side of a train wreck, God is still using the experience to shape me. And, despite it all, I do realize I have it relatively easy in many senses, and I am thankful.
A prayer request – we’re looking into other options for when our contract ends. We’re still hoping to find a job that better matches our sense of calling and love for the Muslim world. Please pray that God would be guiding us where He wills and that the search and preparations wouldn’t distract us from being fully present here.