In my last post I sought to explore the question of identity and “usefulness.” The comments were great and I was comforted by the discovery that I’m not alone in the struggle. I would like to continue along those lines but from a little different angle, from the perspective of “privilege and power.” The following is another reflection from my personal memoirs a.k.a. “The things I think but do not (should not?) say.”
My wife and I recently watched a news show that took us “Inside the White House” – a day in the life kind of expose on the Obama’s and their staff. It was really interesting but there was this one interview that stuck with me and it wasn’t with the President or the First Lady. It was with a woman who worked in Michelle Obama’s personal office in the White House as her personal secretary. I don’t recall her name but I remember her story. She explained that while the Obama’s were campaigning in her home town she was one of the many volunteers who assisted Mrs. Obama and taxied her around town.
The woman in the interview went on to describe the day she received a phone call from Michelle Obama, who was now the First Lady, asking her to join her staff. It came as bolt out of the blue and with that one phone call, her life magically transformed – she had been given a seat in the most powerful and prestigious institution in the country, the White House. This show happened to intersect me at a unique time and forgive me for not giving more background but here was my un-edited reaction to what I just described:
“Hey Lord, I have been part of your election campaign since the day I met you. I’ve given you my best time and energy for decades now (I just turned 42). I’ve helped organize, set up and break down countless rallies and events for you. I have made thousands of phone calls, held hundreds of grass-roots meetings in my home. I’ve donated money for the cause; I’ve even traveled to other countries as your good-will ambassador. And after twenty years of working the campaign trail for you I’ve got to ask you…
How come we never win? I’m getting the feeling that you don’t really care about getting elected. But you see, Lord, the problem is I was kind of counting on it. I was hoping that after your landslide victory that you would remember me and all the hard work I’ve put in for you. I guess I’m a little burned to see that lady sitting in the White House office after just her first campaign run. I guess I’m getting tired of working the trail and never attending an inaugural ball. I guess I was hoping that when you finally took office that you’d give me a cabinet post in your administration and a seat at your right hand…I guess I was wrong.”
For these purposes, the answer lies in the question:how does one define … “win”?
Mark, I hear you…not time to jump off that bridge yet – maybe just time to look at it from a different angle. So reaching into the archives I drug out a few prophets of our day. Here’s a few I came up with:
As the great Steve Perry once sang, “Some will win, some will lose…some are born to sing the blues.” Last time I saw Journey they were at the Antelope Fairgrounds and the lead singer was this Filipino guy (Ronaldo’s cousin?) who was vocally an amazing ringer for the Perry.
Then there is Tom Petty’s raspy sounding take on the issue, “Even the losers…get lucky some time!” And let us not forget the words of Coach John Robinson (or was it Ray Malavasi?) who said, “If losing builds character, I’ve the got all the character I need.”
But I think this whole thing can best be summarized in light of the immortal words of Carl Spakler: “So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey, Lama (err, Jesus), hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”
Hello Mr. Laird,
Nice things going for you when you’re winning, tough when you are uninvited to the inauguration ball.
But hey, Charles Barkley i think prophetically once said: “winning is not everything, Man, it’s the endorsements.” True enough, for Barkley, he had no ring to show for his years in the NBA (just like Karl Malone and Stockton) but he had plenty of Nike ads for endorsements.
Seriously though, i don’t think that Jesus came to earth to be the winner we think He ought to be. In fact, somewhere in the Gospels we read that He taught us the paradox of winning by losing. And all for the endorsements. The endorsements of the Father who was pleased with the Son. Yes, Chris, He did assume our “losing-ness”, in fact became ” loser” from the world’s perspective, while hanging there on the Cross one Friday night so that one day, you and i and all the losers in this world for His sake, shall become eternal victors and triumphant heirs of the eternal kingdom. Again, for the sake of the endorsement. The endorsements of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
In our myopia, we try to box Him in and limit Him to what is beneficial for us, forgetting that this God, in whom and through whom the universe was created, consists and is held together is beyond what we can ever ask or imagine. Even the presidency of this here land of the free, home of the brave. Even the rulership of this land from sea to shining sea.
So, cheer up, put the birthday hats on, blow the trumpets, cut the cake, pour on the champagne. Unfurl the banner. You’ll see what it contains. It says,
“Wait till you come home, Chris, Bobby or what-have-you. Wait till you come home, Son/ Daughter.”
SIC TRANSIT GLORIA MUNDI! In English, it means, thus passes all the campaigns and all the jockeyings and all the inauguration balls and all the presidencies and all the winnings of this world, put together.
Journeying with you in the lonely and narrow road of the losers for Christ,
BOBBY V.A. III
Hello Chris,
Chanced upon this blog of yours thru a mutual friend.
You forgot to mention another prophet, ABBA. They wrote, “The winner takes it all; the loser standing small, Beside the victory, Now it’s hurting me…” They went on to sing, “I don’t wanna talk, about the things we’ve gone through, Now it’s hurting me, now it’s history; I played all my cards and that’s what’s (they’ve) done too…”
You know, in my fortysome- odd years of living this “toilsome world, alas!”, i have learned one dictum about politics and campaigns and all that jockeying for positions: “Winners or losers in the political arena, we all are but fertilizers of roses yet to bloom.”
Hey, for what it’s worth, Obama is The MAN. Over two hundred years of white man’s subjugation of this very country that so ironically stated “All men are created equal.” And this is the only time, perhaps no other, that we have a colored man sitting at the Oval Office. Guess, after issuing a cheque that said, “Non-sufficient Funds” (aka Martin Luther King, Jr.), the American people are now refuting the oft-quoted saying “Some men are more equal than others.”
In my estimation, the previous commentator was right on one respect: winning is not everything. Only when it accomplishes what history would have us know: winning is the only thing, for to the victors belong the spoils. The end justifies the means.
Me? I would that Obama and the rest of us dancers in the inauguration ball, beyond the hurrahs and the high-fives would affirm this:
“Through this toilsome world, alas!
Once and only once I shall pass;
If a kindness i may show;
If a good deed I may do;
To a suffering fellow man
Let me do while I can
No delay for it is plain
I shall never this way again.”
You see, like you’ve said in your previous column, “…but, i am still useful.”
Fit for the Master’s use,
Ed M. A.
Wow, Bobby (a.k.a. R.S.) that’s quite a story. I feel like Agrippa who, having heard Paul’s eloquent defense of the gospel said to him, “In a short time would you persuade me to be a Christian?” Seriously, beautiful stuff. Doesn’t the whole message hang on this scandalous truth that Christ did not simply “fix” our sin from a remote location but instead, “he became sin” 2Cor.5:21.
I am convinced that we Christians are actually scandalized by the truth of our own message for if “he did assume our losingness” as you and Paul seem to say, then that means that God himself has entered into the messiness and the confusion of my life, which means God knows what it’s like to be a “loser.”
D. Bonhoeffer weighs in when he writes, “God let himself be pushed out of the world onto the cross. He is weak and powerless in the world, and that is precisely the way, the only way, in which he is with us and helps us.” Letters and Papers pp261
I look forward to journeying further down this narrow road with you.
Ed M.A.,
I know this is going to draw the ire of those “dancing queens” out there but with ABBA as its chief export to the rest of the world I’m tempted to invoke Nathaniel’s famous question to Phillip, “Can anything good come out of (Sweeden)?” Keep dancing Ed!
I’ve had similar thoughts the past few weeks. As I’ve looked more and more at the depths of God’s love for us in Christ, my love for Christ has grown along with my commitment to open myself to His working in me. And yet at the same time, there’s part of me that’s frustrated by what feels like abandonment – “Why lead me here and then not provide when I step out in faith? Why have I been seemingly guided into dead end after dead end?”
It’s a long, hard process to not look at our lives as some cosmic exchange of faithfulness to God for happiness, security, a good family, etc. in return. To see that we win precisely when we appear to “lose,” at least when we are losing for Christ’s sake.
To offer another music quotation, this time from the beloved alternative country band Wilco,
“There’s a war on war…
you have to lose,
you have to learn how to die,
if you want to be alive.”
Hey ‘ya Chris,
It’s me again. Thanks for the prose- that was inspiring.
And yes, you and I know that Paul’s response to Agrippa was: “Short time or long- I pray that not only you but all who are listening (reading this blog) to me today may become what I am, except for these chains.”
One of the things that keep me so attracted to this Gospel of winning by losing is learning early on in my journey of the narrow road that “a disciple of Christ is like a house in the midst of a very strong cyclone, a storm. Bit by bit is blown away until what remains is the foundation; then God builds a new structure.”
All my campaign efforts for Jesus to become President, for Him to win the presidency are exposed for what they are and are blown bit by bit. Until what remains is the foundation. That foundation is: He loves me unconditionally, desirably, abundantly. Nevertheless, and despite who I am. And so, when He loses “my campaign for Him to be president”, and there is no inaugural ball for me to attend, I am the greater winner because He builds in me a new structure. It is losing the battle to win the great war, as our friend quoted in his alternative music.
He still is my friend who sticks closer than a brother and my co-heir of the eternal kingdom. And when all things come crashing down, when i am fired from my office because i failed to meet the expectations of this president, or the press, or the citizenry, despite all my best efforts, after having divided the spoils of war, one thing but only thing matters: where does my treasure lie? For where my treasure is, there my heart will be also. Is He my treasure? Is He where my heart is?
And so i say,
“I asked God for strength that I might achieve
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey;
I asked God for power that I might have the praise of men,
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God;
I asked God for riches that I might be happy,
I was given poverty that I might be wise;
I asked God for good health that I might do great things,
I was given infirmity that I might do better things;
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life,
I was given Life- His- that i might enjoy all things;
There was nothing that I asked for that was granted me
But all that I have secretly hoped for
I am, among all men, most richly blessed!”
So, my fellow sojourner of the lonely and narrow road, you may have all your campaigns and presidencies and perks and “bennies” as powers that be- all the spoils of office, I’d rather have JESUS. And each day, it pains me to live this crucified life in Him but in my dying i gain eternal life. TETELESTAI!
Bobby V.A. III
Mr. Laird,
That was argumentum non-sequitor, argumentum ad nauseum!
To engage you, however, not only is Sweden the home of IKEA and beautiful cars like SAAB, it might interest you to know that Sweden is a Scandinavian nation that promoted ZOPFAN- Zone of Peace, Freedom and Neutrality during the Cold War, when so-called born-again Christians were so supportive of the campaign against the Russian Bear! All these talks about World Peace- think Nobel Peace Prize which Obama is happily the Awardee for this year reminds me of Stockholm, Sweden.
Come on, Chris, you got to have more ammos in your arsenal than merely namecalling. Or at least some platinum records in your label to hit ABBA. And yes, i love to dance but i prefer to be the Prince of the Revolution than a queen!
ha!ha!ha!,
Ed M.A.
Hello again Mr. Laird,
Thanks for the inspiring prose.
You and I know that Paul himself was not intimated by the political powers of his day. Thus, to Agrippa he said: “Short time or long- I pray God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains.”
Certainly, those who sojourn with this Jesus in the lonely and narrow road of denying the self and living the crucified life in Him can affirm that presidentia campaigns or no campaigns, inauguration balls or none at all, “bennies” and spoils of the war or nothingness, the follower of this Jesus is like “a house in the midst of a storm, a cyclone: bit by bit is blown away, until what remains is the foundation; then God builds a new structure.”
After a bruising campaign and all the politics involve to have Jesus elected for president- and losing it big-time in the arena or gridiron of votes -, we find ourselves but fertilizers of roses yet to bloom. May we live footprints in the sands that “perhaps another, sailing o’er life’s solemn main: a forlorn and shipwrecked brother, seeing shall take heart again.”
TETELESTAI!
With my deepest respect,
Bobby V.A. III
Dear Bro. Chris,
Thanks for this post. Here’s my two cent’s worth: (Paradox of Winning By Losing,adapted)
“I asked God for strength that i might achieve,
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey;
I asked God for power that I might have the praise of men,
I was given weakness that i might feel the need of God;
I asked God for riches that I might be happy,
I was given poverty that I might be wise;
I asked God for good health that I might do great things,
I was given infirmity that i might do better things;
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life,
I was given Life- His- that I might enjoy all things;
There was nothing that I asked for that I was given
But everything that I have secretly hoped for
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers have been answered
I am among all men, most richly blessed.”
I affirm Bobby V.Aguilar, III’s take that we cannot put God in a box. Neither can we continue to live with this sense of myopia about campaigning to win so that, beyond our over 20 years or so of ministry and service to God, we might be able to shout, “To the victors belong the spoils!” No, as Francis of Assissi said, it is in dying that we are born to life eternal, as Jesus’ death some 2000 years ago or so signifies: His death became the entrance to the greatest triumph.
It is in the losing of our presidential campaigns that we are made triumphant and winners of the greater war. For what, indeed, does it profit you and me to gain all the presidencies and political positions, etc. and lose our souls? And what should we give in exchange for our souls?
My brother, my friend, your comments are PRIMUS INTER PARES!
Ronaldo S.
Hey,
Yeah that’s it, man.
As you said, this task of dismantling these deeply embedded programs from our soul is a “long hard process” and it’s gonna take time. What makes this process, unnecessarily difficult even to the point of being impossible, is the way that we tend to respond when we find ourselves hurting or pinned down by our disappointments.
Before we can even think about honestly facing the kind of re-programing we’re talking about , I’m persuaded that we need to address a couple of other “sentry-programs” These are the “programs” that act like a a virtual “firewall” protecting our blindspots, nurturing our errors and reinforcing our “wrong-headedness”. What I’m describing is the attitudes and behaviors which undermine the critical process of repentance and renewal that is so basic to being a follower of Christ.
The first “infected program” to delete from our spiritual hard drive is the “quick fix program” which naively promises to supply what is missing in our souls with one “easy to install spiritual download.” As a Bible believing-seminary student, I find that I have this built-in reflex to reach for a “quick fix” in the form of a slogan or a scripture or doctrine to “fix” the situation (this is not to say that we don’t need God’s Word or an occasional timely exhortation).
The second program to delete is the “over-spiritualizing”, sometimes referred to as the “denial program” which is designed to protect and conceal our personal hurts and fears from others and even ourselves (God?). One of the “benefits” of this program is that we don’t have to risk the messiness and the shame associated with a) being guilty of not “having faith” or not having a “correct view of Scripture” or b) being guilty of tarnishing Gods’ reputation with our questions, pain, and fears (is it our job to be God’s p.r. manager?).
Once those programs are deleted (a difficult task in it’s own right) then we can talk about learning the long, painful process of being re-programmed from our earth-bound views of God as our “Heavenly Vendor” as well as our wrong-headedness concerning winning and losing. And finally, because the issues that we’re discussing are not theoretical but are personal therefore, the appropriate response is gonna have to be personal. The only way to move through this life-long process of ‘metanoia’ is to be courageously honest and radically personal (as opposed to impersonal and abstract) with ourselves, before God and before one another.
Thanks for “spilling some soul” on this thread – you, my friend, seem to be someone with whom I could enjoy an extended conversation over all the above and since you and I are neighbors, I look forward to having the experience.
Hi, the extended metaphors were fun to read, thank you.
When I read your post my thoughts traveled in a slightly different direction but ended, similarly, with a question and as such I was hoping, instead of answering your question, I might ask you my own.
When I look at the lack of positive things in my life (which is hard because it is full of wonder) or at the unpleasent things in it I rarely question God as to why my affairs have crumbled to this state. Primarily because I can almost always pinpoint the cause and it is most often a willing decision I made, no mystery there. However, as to the question of why does it seem we all fight just to live long enough to embrace defeat I find myslef curious with regards to the rest of the world; particularly those who are not, at least by word of mouth, “Christians.”
According to a literal or metaphorical interpretation of Christ and Paul’s teachings, particularly His final statements to the disciples in the Gospel of John and Paul’s observations in Ephesians, those who are remade in Christ (new creations et al) are like Christ, share in His being and thus are more responsible than ever for whatever state they find themselves in because they forever have the choice to be themselves (new and joint heirs) or to pretend to be something else (whatever the alternative may be). The discussion of the logistics concerning this reality is important but presently tangential to my query which is why do people who may not (or do not) currently have that option appear to have the odds so unfairly stacked against them?
I am aware that my earlier posit that my problems are self made could be re-applied here but it would be done falaciously since I, being in relationship with Christ, am capable of choice in a way unique to this position as discussed above.
So again, my question to God, myself and all of you is not “why is my life not always what I want it to be” but,
“Why does life relentlessly brutalize the down-on-their-luck, poor (of possession or spirit), weak and confused people of the world until they are so cynical, so broken that they can’t see anything but the darkness consuming them?”
or to paraphrase
“If light is the stronger why does it most often appear as a spark in the abyss?”
Why does Jung sound beyond sagacious, as we nod in sad, defeated agreement with his conjecture “As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.”
Bummer.
Thanks,
adam
I have just had this very struggle. When is it my turn? I was reminded just a few months ago when recalling what was asked of Jesus and the disciples, why do you feast and drink and carry on the way you do always in celebration? Why do you not fast or eat locust as John the baptist does? Jesus replied, There will be a time when I am not with you, fast then. (Paraphrased)
I often forget and I believe much of the church forgets, He was only gone for 3 days. He is no longer on the cross, and He has won the victory! When will we believe it! All Kingdom authority has been given to us. We are not just sons and daughters of the living God, and heirs to the Throne! We are the Victors it is finished! Live it out! Live like the heir that you are.
Peace,
Sean
Adam,
I think in biblical Hebrew language your name means, “Man.”
That was pretty intense philosophical wrestling along the lines of theodicy. I have a couple of cliches.
To borrow your well-put, well-written term about Jung, at the end of the day, all we say are but “conjecture”. And the sad thing is that we nod in agreement with conjecture when, as in street parlance, “talk is cheap” and conjectures come a dime a dozen.
If it would be believed that the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being”, then Paul the Apostle is very affirming: all our preaching is futile and we are among the most wretched. Apart from teh risen Christ, the Victorious Christus, we are simply obejcts: a kindling light. I submit to you respectfully that we are not. We have been bought at a price and therefore we are not our own. That being so, He who bought us out ought to decide what he wants to do with such wretched-before-but-now-redeemed people. And He had already. He said He had prepared a place for us that where He is, there we might be also.
As to being “often appear as a spark in the abyss”? What kind of spark? And which abyss? And how often do we become such? The laser beam is a light, maybe more than a tiny spark but it cuts through diamonds and other hard stuff. Ours is a marvelous light, as Peter wrote to the Diaspora in his first epistle.
This is a cold, lonely world. But do understand that in the deepest parts of the ocean where light seems unable to penetrate, species of fish have been endowed with an illumination in their skin to be the “spark in the abyss”.
If that were so, namely that we are often sparks in the abysss, does that mean we are of lesser value? Does that imply the least relevance? And even given that one has the least relevance, I am perfectly certain that He, the Omnipotent One, perfects Himself in that insignificant self.
May this be “VERITAS CHRISTI ET ECCLESIAE”!
RCM
Hey Sean,
This appears to be a conversation that we’ve been having for some time now. Let me say first that I genuinely appreciate the dialogue – I’m encouraged by the fact that you and I both care deeply about the gospel. So let me ask. Is this gospel one of death and suffering: overcoming the world through weakness or is it one of victory, power and kingdom authority? I think you realize that the answer is “yes.”
The resurrection has no context outside of the crucifixion and likewise, the cross is a tragic story apart from Easter Sunday. The problem we have is when we dichotomize cross and resurrection. The Bible doesn’t ask us to choose or to even favor one over the other but rather, to live in the tension that is created by their duality: “die to live”, “lose to gain”, and “first is last.” God has chosen in his wisdom to eternally weld these seemingly antithetical realities together in the person of Jesus Christ (“fully God” and “fully man”) – this is our gospel.
There is obviously nothing wrong with meditating on the cross or preaching on the hope
of the resurrection but we should avoid the error of making the resurrection the master paradigm based on the sequence of the events (the resurrection came after the cross). Luther warned us that when we favor resurrection and victory over suffering and cross we corrupt the gospel by creating a “gospel of triumphalism.” This kind of triumphalism is a failure to understand that “cross” and “power of God” are two ways of saying the same thing (ICor.1:18) – I’m convinced that this “triumphalism” is a serious theological problem for many of us but I digress.
So what is faith then but learning to live in the tension of these kingdom paradoxes, resisting the urge to pull apart: “Death AND Resurrection”, “Suffering AND Victory”, “Strength IN Weakness”, “Grace AND Truth”, “Sin AND Righteousness”, “Now AND Not Yet”. Christ calls us to abandon our “air-tight” categories for a kingdom reality that is based on “unusual grammar” and “illogical logic.” It sure is messy to think and live this way but hey, maybe there is “Beauty IN This Mess.”
Let’s keep the dialogue going,
C
Hey Adam,
If we’re honest, most of of us will find that we have expectations and therefore we invariably suffer disappointments with God. I’m not sure that I agree with you that being a Christian gives me the advantage of being “more responsible for whatever state (I) find myself in.” Yes, you’re right that we are given the gift of a new and “authentic self” in Christ but learning to live from this “new place” is the real trick – I suspect that it’s a task that I’ll be involved in for the rest of my life. But enough of my issue.
What’s the answer to the disappointment associated with “life” that “relentlessly brutalizes those down on their luck?” You see Adam, even though your question/concern is different from mine we are asking our question before the same Audience (the blog and God himself). What I mean by this is that we are standing before God saying “hey, what gives?” Now I’ll be honest I don’t have any hard fast answers to the brutality that you’re talking about but thankfully I know someone who does…well kind of. Seriously, Luke today just started an amazing thread, Where the Wild Things Are, which I believe picks up where I am afratid we have to leave off, with our unanswered question: How do we stay engaged with God and make sense of life when the evidence around us seems to outweigh all the traditional arguments for his goodness?
Sorry to pass you off but I think you’ll find you’re in good hands.
Well done all. Interestingly even when we don’t make it to the big time, we live for those moments of insight when we get to peer into one persons life to feel the ripple of fame, success and most of all power. I think Christians do this because we are certain that somehow “it should have been us.” And it never is. I would beseech you guys to look in your life for the victories you do have, the not fame but undeserved blessedness. To throw in yet another pop culture reference there is a movie just out with Adam Sandler a has-been comedian who reached the top only to find he is dying. He hates to be alone and needs the constant companionship of a guy he hires to be his personal assistant. The tragedy is he’s made it, he’s victorious and he’s dying alone. I would rather lose if it meant having true companionship. I would rather die than live alone. Not that I live that way but I guess I believe it.
Thanks Rachel,
I guess it’s my hope that this blog can be, in some small way, a place where people can find the kind of companionship your talking about. That this cyber-community can be a place where people who are struggling with issues like “losing” or even “dying” can find a place where there will be understanding, acceptance and maybe even a little inspiration. It’s alot easier facing tough issues when there are caring supportive people around with whom we can risk being real and looking at tought questions together. I’m encouraged by what I see. I’m recently encouraged by the new thread that Luke started, Where the Wild Things Are – he does a great job of helping us see the value of having a place where you can go to work stuff out – if this isn’t gospel, I don’t know what is.
You’re one of the people I admire most in the world. I see you as a winner in all the ways that matter. But thank you for bringing up the painful issue… You are the Dude, Dude… we all see it. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see beauty and love, and sometimes I see nothing. Amazing how you put yourself out there… sheparding and loving even from cyber world. Blessings to you my friend.