If you’ve read any of my recent blogs you know that this season for me at New Wine is one of coming to terms with some “loose ends” in my soul. Just this past weekend a friend of mine, who happens to be a gifted therapist, offered me some help with one of those loose ends when he asked me a piercing question, “Chris, does Jesus understand your plight?” I’ll admit, I was caught a little off guard by the question. I didn’t see it coming and it certainly wasn’t on any of my mid-term exams.
Since my conversation with Guillermo I have taken that question to prayer two or three times now. Just yesterday I was feeling really pinned down, really discouraged and I eventually made it to “the closet” for some heavenly dialogue.
“Lord, do you understand my plight? I feel so pinned down by my own ‘wrongness’ and there is no where to go? I feel trapped!”
Just then I had this thought that I needed to press further with my question – I needed to press the point until I had expelled every last bit of bile and angst from my soul. I framed another question for God.
“Lord, are you the one behind this? Are you the one pinning me down?”
With each question I went deeper down into the chasm, the chasm which exposed the “badlands” of my soul but there was still yet one more question to be asked. One more question before I reached the bottom of the chasm . . .
“Lord, will you be my ‘wrongness’? Will you be my ‘rejection’?”
With that final question I knew that I had put it all on the altar and this was my “bottom line” with God. And though I didn’t see or hear heavenly “thunder and lightening”, there was an unmistakable sense that I was being heard. No sooner had I finished asking , “Lord, will you be my ‘wrongness’?” I immediately knew the answer to the question. I knew it like the Slumdog kid knew the answer to those first eight questions. The answer was so simple and yet so totally mind-blowing.
“That’s who I am for you.”
Until that moment in the closet, I knew that Jesus was the one who “takes away the sin of the world” but I did not appreciate how he does it – and how he does it for me. I have come to discover that Jesus doesn’t bear our burdens from a remote location as though he was operating some kind of ‘cosmic crane’. Jesus Christ does not deal with us in the abstract. Jesus deals with us personally and therefore, when he “takes away” our sin and our sorrow he does it by “taking it on” himself.
“Surely he has born our griefs and carried our sorrows.” Isa. 53:4
My desire in sharing this experience with you wasn’t to provide you with a “sweet devotional” but rather toopen a dialogue, “Who is Christ for us today?” Biblical scholarship is a gift to the community of faith but thankfully, you don’t need a theological degree to care about this topic or engage this thread (thank God!). You no more have to be a theologian to care about God than you need to be a botanist to enjoy flowers. So for you churched-unchurched-lapsed-devout-mystical-skeptical-biblical-W-loving-Obama adoring-politics-loathing-young-middle-age-seniors out there, jump in and extend the thread even if it’s just a short phrase.